Okay
so that's my feet. And that's exactly the colour I chose. For ages I shied away
from painting my toe nails, hiding them inside shoes ashamed because they
weren't feminine enough, just like I hid my posterior in baggy pants for the
very same reason.
My
battle with my lower-half started young. My mom was the first to say of my feet
and the butt was but a post-marriage addition, need I say even. Men are men!
And
women are women, too. We wanna be a stick and yet stick it out. I was no
different. I started hogging in the hope of putting on some, but derrr..ieee... I was
only left holding folds and flab.
As
a toddler I lay down spread on a mat with egg-white on my legs under the morning Sun rays, I
remember my mom telling me every time I had a fall. "Your feet are still
weak..." and off she would go on about how she feared I may never walk.
Years
later, I feared if I ever will look feminine enough and so jumped on to massage
tables letting anyone who promised to straighten me out. I also hit the gym but
the trainer began instructing me on walking right. Apparently my weight falls
on my hips way too far that it ought to and that's detrimental to my spine. So
as an adult I shed, what was remaining by then of my modesty, and let the
beefed up trainer teach me how to suck in my core, hold the pelvic bones just
right there and place the heel of one foot firmly on the ground as the toe of
the other flirted above ground all at the same fraction of a second for each
step I took. When my tolerance snapped, I bid him goodbye.
Straight
I went to a yoga instructor. "Surya Namskar, she said, "is equivalent
to doing 45minutes of cardio." Wow! that's what I needed, when she added,
"if you do 100 rounds and sweat it out." Rats arse!
Wonder
why we cannot have a clear intent? Why we need to sculpt ourselves to another's
definition of what is right and acceptable? Whoever that may be - parents,
partner, colleague, neighbour, friend or lifestyle experts. Are you comfortable
with your body - is all that matters. If you aren't, then do it for yourself.
Not for anyone else. And do it because you wanna feel good, not because you
wanna 'fit-in' or because that's the fad.
Today
I painted my nails orange. My beauty of a daughter exclaimed "Gosh, I
wanna puke!
"Please
baby! go ahead!"
Look
up-close and you see black dots - hair in-growth. Because I shaved my legs once
upon a time. Whatever you are today, is the choice you made in the past. Lol!
Life mastery lessons, applies to beauty regimen, too. But two hoots I care. If
it's displeasing to your eye, shut them. My eyes have long last opened. And am
revelling in the sight it beholds for me every single day.
Live
your life women!
Thats where we go wrong, Nisha. We are always trying to "fit in". It's such a pitiful attempt by us to 'belong' that we tend to lose ourselves somewhere along the way and years later when we take a good look at ourselves, we wonder who this stranger is! I uses to do it, too, but socially. I mean, I wanted to come across as an extrovert, as a confident someone who is the life of the party, when in reality, I am an introvert, who loves being in my own company. Now, though, I have given up trying to please people. I am at ease with myself, in my own space and do not socialise just because I want to feel part of the group, just because I want to appear "cool". Better late than never, but I am glad I woke up and accepted myself as I am.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, too, Nisha. I am glad you decided to show off those pretty orange toe nails instead of hiding your feet in your shoes. The "real" we are within, and we should be proud of what we are. What we come across outwardly, or what people think about us should be, well, people's problem! No? :) ♡♡♡
Thats where we go wrong, Nisha. We are always trying to "fit in". It's such a pitiful attempt by us to 'belong' that we tend to lose ourselves somewhere along the way and years later when we take a good look at ourselves, we wonder who this stranger is! I uses to do it, too, but socially. I mean, I wanted to come across as an extrovert, as a confident someone who is the life of the party, when in reality, I am an introvert, who loves being in my own company. Now, though, I have given up trying to please people. I am at ease with myself, in my own space and do not socialise just because I want to feel part of the group, just because I want to appear "cool". Better late than never, but I am glad I woke up and accepted myself as I am.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, too, Nisha. I am glad you decided to show off those pretty orange toe nails instead of hiding your feet in your shoes. The "real" we are within, and we should be proud of what we are. What we come across outwardly, or what people think about us should be, well, people's problem! No? :) ♡♡♡
I don't see anything wrong with your feet or that color. In fact you are carrying it quiet well. You should see my feet with that color. Without warning your daughter would have puked :P I laughed so hard at that 100 round suryanamskar :P There was another one, Yoga and walking burn same amount of calories, if you do it for an hour :P I say, sculpt yourself in whatever shape you think is the best, because what's in now will be a pass tomorrow. Skinny was sexy in the 90's, now it's abs and strength, I am waiting for the day when tummy roll would be fab too :P
ReplyDeleteYes we always try to fit in and in this drama of fitting is we forget who we actually are. Accepting our body is something we all need to do and if we want to improve in some aspect we must do it because we want to. Your nails look lovely by the way!
ReplyDeleteYour feet look good. I can't carry that color. I always use a nail paint to hide my toe nails cos that's the way they look better ;)
ReplyDeleteNothing odd there and that comment about puking.Ha ha! Funny.
Just use these freshly painted feet to kick whoever has an unasked for opinion:)))
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! Damn the world!:)
I love that colour on your feet. Really. I have of late experimented a bit with nail paint trying out bright blues and greens. But I doubt if I can carry orange and yellow. Just do what your heart says. Others be damned. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteThis so sounds like my story! I too have the entire weight on my hips! Since the time, my body started developing, the lower body was more prominent than the upper one and it still continues! The very first part where I put on weight are around my thighs and hips!
ReplyDeleteAll we can do is accept our body and move ahead! Nothing else!
Cheers
Geets
Ahh, Nisha so identify with this post! Battling the bulge has never been on my agenda, shucks I never tried! Feet, however have been my bane, being blessed with craters rather than cracks on my heels perennially! I shy away from sleeve-less, figure-hugging clothes, open soled footwear but of late, I've decided its a matter of now or never, so I've started experimenting more freely with my fashion style and you know what? I love wearing dresses, sleeveless, strappy sandals and the works! And who cares how I look.....I love wearing cute stuff and that's that! Loved your post!!!
ReplyDeleteNisha I am quite pathetic when it comes to my feet too. For one I am way too lazy and two I just dont get the coloured and shades that would be most appropriate for me. Anyways after many disastrous attempts at making it look well the so called feminine way, I have quite given up now.
ReplyDelete