Mom’s worry, child’s dream, nation’s curse

Courtesy: MorgueFile

I have a dream! Yes, even I – a laywoman – do have one. I see our teenager flying out soon from the comfy cocoon we are nurturing her in now. And I can’t wait to see her return to India – her home country she’s fascinated with.

I’m so blessed to have become a parent in the 21^st century. Am grateful to the Divine that our daughter has a world that’s so advanced and bubbling with opportunities for her to live her dreams.

And my country is rearing to go. India’s energy is infectious that I can’t rest in peace.

What if I can’t persuade my child to give up on her skirts and crop tops?

The economy is booming… if not now, it will shortly be, by the time our girl steps out to make a life on her own. Am thankful to our government that is relentlessly working to offer youngsters the best life and means of livelihood.

And yes, no matter in which corner of India my girl chooses to settle in, I will feel her, touch her and hug her. In the tech world another 5 years is an eon when Skype will be obsolete and rocket science will become household mantra. The healthy competition between Facebook and Google will sure ensure that to parents like me!

How privileged am I, unlike my parents, who had to initially wait for a fortnight for the monthly mail to fall in their post-box and then yell into the receiver to hear me. How lucky am I that my child has a plethora of a spread to carve out a career from. She will graduate at a time, when MNCs and world-renowned firms would have all settled in her hometown and she would not have to bribe authorities for passport verification. 

What if she's caught reading ‘fanatic unaccepted’ series?

All she needs to do is hone her talents and sharpen her skills and enjoy life. Like my parents told me then – all you need to worry about is study and get good grades. And when I achieved that they knocked every door of our community distributing home-made sweets, before settling in to post university forms. 

When my girl makes me proud I’ll tweet her scores and register her name in all top universities sitting in the washroom in my PJS.

But unlike my parents who waved me moisty-eyed good-byes, I don’t have the nerve to let her go away from me. All my parents had to do was collect their nerves to see me bloom. But I have to collect the nerves of my fellowmen, take their consent, check their ideologies and train my girl to fit-in. 

How do I explain to my child that she would 'fit-in'?

What if I can’t persuade my child to give up on her skirts and crop tops? What if I can’t succeed in asking her to give up non-veg? How do I explain to a teen to stop hanging out with friends and forget sleep overs? What if she gets on social media and post her paintings? How do I censure the artist in her? She enjoys Divergent, Hunger Games and the ilk now. But I have no idea of what she will like next. What if the books are not ‘fanatic accepted’ series…?

How do I explain to my child that she would have to change and ‘fit-in’ if she were to stay alone in her home country – a land about which she loves hearing stories about. Her favourite tea-time topic is my childhood and student days in India. And she can’t wait to outdo me by being an independent girl.

But I fret. I am afraid. I am lost. I am ashamed.

I want to hide my face from Facebook

Mir, 2nd from left at the launch

[Wishing my friend Mir – a humble soul - many, many, many more books…and films and musicals and screenplays and theatre and…he never fails to surprise me. So let me play safe…Here’s wishing you all the best for all your dreams Mir!]

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Well, I was invited to speak at this event and I willing accepted to share Mir’s joy. It was fun. A wonderful evening spending time with some creative people…actors, singer and designers among them. Feel blessed. 

But, dear blog friends, knowing myself well, before retiring for the night, I did ask my trusted heart ‘how come I carried myself with such unadulterated élan?’

And lo! I woke up to chew my nails. 

I met this lovely lady and instantly took a liking to her. With her cheerful disposition she couldn’t be missed anyway. First I noticed her adjusting her stole as I hugged myself. After a while she repeated her act and we smiled at each other. Because I was now squeezing myself harder to keep my chilling bones warm. A merciless A/C also helps break the ice! I learnt.

Shortly thereafter I learnt she was my co-speaker. With rapt attention I listened to her. Her passionate call to embrace nature to create self-awareness was, I thought, a unique thought. My restless mind, however, wandered to phrase her thought thus – ‘Nature helps cover your nudity!’ [More on why I thought so later].

Well, after delivering our respective duties, we sat talking and sharing our interests. Some mutual and some distant. We exchanged a few numbers and ids and more camaraderie and bid goodbye with a promise of meeting up after a sumptuous spoon n fork-licking dinner.

This morning, my lady friend was smiling at me from my Facebook page. Idiotic me, I first smiled back. And then realized, how come she’s on my page. When did I add her on my friends' list? I shook my sleepy brains awake and asked the query several times over before my eyes did its job better. [Having four eyes do help. The first time in a month I’m happy to have sported glasses]. 

What my eyes discovered made me take my palms to lift my dropped jaw back in place. She’s been communicating with me for a few months now. I’ve cherished some of her comments on my blogposts, too. 

I sent her a sheepish message…and sat to write this to relieve myself of the shame!

PS: She sent me a few smileys in return!