Shamelessly I requested invited guests...

This weekend I slept with my feet wrapped in hot water bags, thanks to my lineage I am conscious about.

On Friday, I stood for over 7 hours in the kitchen, followed by entertaining guests. But before cracking down, I did stand upright for the record.

After a tiring yet exciting day... one for the album 

"Do you really want to do this?" asked my girl when I requested her to click our pic. 

"It's not everyday I drape a saree and your papa a mundu. Come on, quick." 

"Honestly, mamma. You are so obsessed with yourself," she replied adjusting the lens.

We had our Onam celebration and I was determined to have the banana leaf filled from tip to edge. Managed to layout 18 items for each of the 13 invited guests. Now, that's not a big deal as Onasadhya means the more the merrier.

The problem was that I was on my feet, paranoid, cooking second round of most of the dishes afraid it would not suffice. Pots of rice were boiling even when the guests were at the dining table, which will now last me the whole week after distributing it to my houseboy, car cleaner and watchman.

After cooking, re-cooking, topping up... finally

“Why don’t you sit with the stuff at the building entrance and give it all those who walk in," quipped my in-house grandma, before threatening me, “Don’t give this when I return from school on Sunday. One more day I’ll manage.”

"Well, my dear. I have no intention of dumping these. Why do you think I packed food for the guests when they left..."

"Oh my God, exactly. That was so shameless, honestly mamma... 'take whatever you like'..." she mimicked me.

I blame this paranoia to serve on my genes. My mom’s family are generous servers. You can gather your entire neighbourhood [no exaggeration] and visit any of my maternal aunts unannounced and you will be sumptuously served. In fact, force-fed. For them feeding guests is the way to peoples' hearts. And my mom’s always fed the best to guests, while my brother and I only got the left-overs.

My dad’s family, on the other hand, are stingy givers. My paternal aunts reserved the best for their families and offered the remaining to guests. One day, I saw one of my aunts place a banana bunch comprising over 20 bananas on the table before three guests. “Please take. It’s from our farm.” Neither of them took any. What a trick!

On another occasion, another aunt of mine fed just fish gravy and yoghurt to two guests who had arrived uninvited during lunch hour, saying, “How sad. We just finished lunch and no fish these days. Please manage with this.” One of these guests returned to collect something that she had left behind only to find the family having a lavish lunch, including two varieties of fish!

An acquaintance of mine waits until we take leave and at the door says, "you should have waited for dinner". This has been her staple statement every time I visit. I guess, the fault is mine. Next time I’ll drop in during the day.

I caught another one serve three dates on a plate before a group of five guests, saying "please help yourself". When I gave her the head count, she replied, “others are diabetic”.

I love tracing problems to their roots. So, while my lack of confidence in cooking and kitchen judgement may have resulted in my sore feet, upon peeling the layers I discovered that I'm overtly jittery when it comes to serving guests, only because am petrified lest my lineage force-feeds confused genes into me!

Seriously, am not cooking this up… I was wide wake on Friday night, despite retiring to bed early, wondering how I can make space in the fridge!

My Onam

I hope Mahabali visited my home today and was happy to see me living a contended life. I had cleaned every corner of the home yesterday and hid the mop and vacuum cleaner lest he is offended by their sight.

My girl decorated the entrance with athapoovu [floral decoration]. Only that our floral decoration has just four colours [traditionally on Onam day the floral carpet should have at least 10 different coloured flowers] flowers picked from my balcony pots.

In fact, I've never seen the fanfare associated with the harvest festival, such as Pullikali [tiger dance], Vallomkalli [boat race], kummaattikali [masked dance form] or even the sales and discounts in shopping centres that rejuvenate the tiny God's own country. And, of course, miss the public holiday.

Being a Hyderabadi and now a Dubaiite, my Onam memories begin with the shopping my parents went on a week earlier to the festival. Mom would make one delicacy per day, so that on the Big Day we had a platter with at least six varieties of savouries to distribute to our neighbhourhood homes, in return for what they gave us on Ugadi and Diwali. 

On Onam morning, my brother and I woke up to the succulent aroma. Breakfast was bread to save time. Our home seemed more bright that day, literally. The sunrays through the open doors and windows were the same though. Possibly, it was the presence of dad in the kitchen. He did all the chopping and cleaning up. Now, am glad, the ritual, has part-extended after his retirement with him helping mom in doing the dishes daily. Guess, that's why it's said, 'Life just begins after retirement'.

And, yes, we had our family friends over for the Onam sadhya. After the sumptuous meal on banana leaves, we kids got together to watch a movie, dads played cards and moms huddled together talking. They left only late in the evening, and mom would pack them dinner as well. There would still be a lot left in the fridge for the next two days, and my brother and I would throw up a fuss - tired of eating veggies.

Now, my daughter throws up a fuss right on Onam day, when I ask her to leave the leaf clean. And now that she is a 12-year-old, and enjoys school, I have to plead with her to take a day off from school. The savouries are all bought for lack of time and inclination. Friends for Onam sadhya join us at lunch time and return back to work. Those who cannot afford to take a longer lunch break, come for 'Dinner Sadhya'. And then, I am waiting for them to leave at the earliest because I need to go to work at 5.30am next morning.

Dad and daughter all set for the Onam Sadhya

It's a watered-down Onam I have now. I wonder if my daughter would even take the effort to do as much as me when she has a family of her own.

I would love to be part of Onam celebration in Kerala once, especially for my child, to show her what a traditional festival feels like.

Also read: A fun piece on Onam, written earlier http://bit.ly/1ubNXz4