Laugh AT me, if you can’t laugh WITH me!

                   This is how you learn to smile... first at yourself!

My daughter has requested me, a plea I would like to believe… however, an ultimatum at the least. “When you write about me, at least tell me!” 

Apparently I got some ‘facts’ wrong and she was confronted in school. “It’s not Thomas telling Brenda to keep her undies on. Thomas doesn’t say that…” she made her point.

I’m at fault. I can’t stand young adult fiction. Only the slang in there catches my attention. So, yes, I messed up the characters. [Am eager to know which set of parents are my readers, but she has no intention of revealing her source].

My dad has requested, a plea I would like to believe…however, an ultimatum at the least. “What all are there in this world to write about. Why write about our family!”

Apparently, some in my extended family were offended by one of my recent posts and they had an audience with him… I would like to believe, rather it was a veiled complaint at the least.

I guess my dad reacted thus as the heat got closer now, because earlier, a gentleman – I presume  – apparently cautioned my dad that “your daughter writes against Malayalis” and my dad gave two hoots.

There have been instances when my friends have taken offence to my expressions, too.

Guys, gals, friends, foes, acquaintances, relations, neighbours, strangers, my readers… The pun has [and is] always been on me!

This is no defence rather an explanation in the simplest possible words I know.

Missing the wood for the trees and pouting is like boozing and blaming the brewery when you puke. Ha… here I go yet again. Now, this is a foul-smelling simile, I admit and confess I mean no offence to anyone in general and none in particular!

This is me. Living amidst you. And so when I write it’s about me and you. If only I lived in ether, I could snort helium and make light of all egos…here I go again. Now, this is a heavy-handed allegation, I admit. But snort it out and read me again, I bet, you’ll laugh WITH me, when not AT me!

Or like my girl, have the nerve to spread out the facts! I love being defeated by my baby. Any day!!

PS: Learning to laugh at oneself is the cheapest remedy to all ills! Try it!

I knew she was blowing, yet I got blown

She walked in, too busy to breathe that she instead panted, after having kept me waiting for an hour. Thankfully, it was a shopping mall, and I had an excuse to pamper my feet.

“I’m sorry. I had a crazy day. The head is gone nuts….and…and…. So, tell me, what do you do?”

“Me!!”

[We were meeting for the first time, but after she finding out about me over the phone over a period of four months and myself having postponed this first meeting at least half-a-dozen times.]

“Yeah, of course, I know what you do. It’s great knowing you. Ever since Gauri spoke about you, I’ve been wanting to catch up with you. You write so well…”

I nodded. Smiled.

“You’ve got a good sense of humour.”

“Me!!”

[I had hardly spoken until then during the face-to-face monologue. And it was almost the same over the phone. I had managed to comment or reply when she remembered to breathe]

So, now I sincerely parted my lips wider, and in way of conversation asked, “Have you read my blogs?”

“Oh, do you blog? I like bloggers. BTW, you are so pleasant and nice to speak to…”

[I did have a choice. I prefer self-chattering to mutual dialogues]

“…So what do you do?”

“Me!!”

“Yeah. Apart from your day job…”

Not wanting to give her more monologue fodder, I said, “I sleep.”

“Ah, no wonder you have such glowing skin.”

“Me!!”

[This time I held the arm rest]

“Yeah, of course. Nobody has told you this before. And I love your smile.”

“Thank you!”

“…so, tell me what do you do?”

“Me!!”

“I mean, you are an editor, yeah.”

“Uh Uh”

“I’ve written something about how our company is hosting an exclusive exhibition on rare stones next month – a first in the GCC. If you could publish it on your site…”