The year I lost my height and weight

Into 2015… here I resurrect!

Happy New Year to all my readers!

I’ve had a fabulous 2014. It was the year I lost my height and helluva weight!

I was known as ‘that tall, lean girl with long hair’ – right from my primary school until I was married, when my man said, ‘You are just of average height’. When I took offence to the ‘just’ in his comment, he simply tucked me under his armpit. I still refused to see the point!

Soon, my scalp was tucking at me, too. So was the unruly cellulite crawling across my waist...and I still refused to see the point!

Now that my girl has stared throwing her arms around my shoulders I have begun seeing the point. But every attempt of mine to convince her I am still of 'decent' height is only laughed at as just another tall tale.

Though I am made shorter against my best intentions, the struggle with my weight was much calculated.

It all began in early-2013 and culminated last year, when I - the self-confessed private person and publicly acknowledged introvert - thought I needed help for housekeeping. So from life coaches and spiritual leaders to NLP practioners and yogis to even friends… I shamelessly exposed my raw self. I let each one of them rummage through my mind and heart, in the hope they will sweep me clean. I was at my vulnerable worst. I let myself be surrounded by dozens of self-help books, CDs and a bunch of people who advised and instructed on what was best for me.

Though none of them helped me find the sanity I sought, I don't regret having associated with any of them as it was a journey that helped me discover myself.

Today, I sit more wise, and far more lighter with a house well-kept and my universe clear of the clutter.

The lessons I learnt...

Never open your heart to anyone before checking if he/she DESERVES to hear your story. Don’t mistake their expertise or closeness to you. Not all who claim to have a solution for your sort of problem or all your buddies deserve to see you nude.

Never seek value and worth from ANYONE [neither from friends/foes nor family/strangers nor colleagues/bosses]. Value yourself.

Shut out all people and situations that put you in the underdog or make you uncomfortable. No matter who they are or what they may be. And see your universe bloom.

Last but not the least, always be thankful, especially to those who hurt you!

I thank all those who aided in my self-discovery...

Special Thanks to Ssrija and a BIG Thank You to my lovely parents and all those who say I touch their hearts!

I love myself

Here I am testing my clarity on X-Mas eve...

It's two-and-a-half-hours past midnight. Do I call it the wee hours of December 27th or late 26th? I'm not gonna nuts seeking clarity about something that a good sleep can't fix.

That's what I did a good part of the year - which is fast chuckling its way about after having successfully left a few more grays on my scalp, than I would like. So, one last time this year, I ponder wide awake...

I state, 'I have NO regrets'. Categorically. I loved 2013. Yes. I loved this year as much as I loved 2012. Actually more... I guess...there I go again. Sigh?

Clarity, my friend says, is a Gemini peeve. I'd defend with all my might and call it a virtue of the twins. But... honestly, it sucks. Because, that's exactly why I can't say for sure if the previous year was better than this but am, nevertheless, damn certain of the coming year to be better - nope the best. This positivity, but indeed, is a Gemini virtue.

Or so I would love to believe, until the determined twin peeps up to remind me of her presence, pushing me behind her shadow.

Shady she! NOT me!Like all these past years, my progress stopped with this argument.

That's when I was hustled down and explained  "intent, desire and effort is needed to overcome the manipulative twin". I howled and screamed in desperation, then tired of the drama I mellowed down and pleaded until I was finally guided to meditate to calm the misleading creep.

This night as I prepare to bid farewell to 2013, I say, "So be it!" I am ME. On my way. Here I go...  success along. She can join me, if she so desires.

At 2.30am as I sign off for the year, I am clear that my new day has begun, as much as I am clear that my previous day has not ended either.

That's life. Every new beginning stems from the seed of the past. So now having admitted thus, I must confess, I have no pans of leaving my twin behind, because it is she who makes me ME.

I love her. I love myself. I'm blessed. Thank you to the Divine for who I am.

Wishing all of you a healthy, joyful & successful 2014!

 

   

2012 – when India stood stripped

The Mayans cried wolf long before the world stepped into the 21st century.

Their wolf never whimpered, yet they survived with impunity, presumably even with their heads held high, because they did no harm to any living soul.

They only predicted doom, but the world's largest democracy was pushed into one by some ruthless beasts in the national capital.

They struck in the dark, assaulting her modesty.

India stands stripped. Exposed.

Yards of the tricolour will not drape the shame. Umpteen speeches, demonstrations, laws, punishments [in no particular order] will not cover the scars.

But there is hope. That is the beauty of human life. And so considering that our government comprises human beings, I will take the risk to say that they will rise up.

That is human nature. When you are thrown in the deepest and darkest pit, after the initial shock of discovering where you have landed, you strangely find the solitude in there to determine how you landed there. That's when the actual realisation dawns and you make efforts to climb up.

In this case, the entire nation seems to be waiting to offer their helping hand to the government to safeguard their collective modesty. To pull it out into the bright sunlight of the New Year.

However, are all the hands that are holding a candle lightening another.

We must. Should. Ought to.

Demonstrations, threats, statistics, emotions and viral content ever since that shameful act on December 16 have spruced up the administration.

Now give them the space to act. Let's not begin our pet peeve of six-decades-of-non-action-we-will-not-tolerate-anymore kind of stuff all over again.

I am not suggesting that the 23-year-old be forgotten. She should not. But let's not cry for the brave heart. She has started a revolution. One that independent India never fathomed in its wildest imagination.

But the crusade she set into motion can be achieved only if each one of us change. While the administration revises laws and spruces up bureaucracy,  each one of us must make a conscious effort to look within. Begin now. Let's not label it a New Year resolution! That egg never hatches.

Morality is the catch. It should be ingrained in our breath and flesh.

Morality is when you tell your child to handover that last crayon to the neighbour who comes requesting for one.

Morality is when teens are taught to lift up a fallen stranger on the road even if it means missing their class test.

Morality is when you stop resorting to the cheapest of ploys to gain that promotion at workplace.

Morality is when we are unstirred by another's pride, prejudice, achievement or betrayal.

Morality is when we live and learn to let live.

[Pic courtesy: NDTV]