If you aren't a donkey or monkey, what's your key?

How many times have you sweared and used the f*** word at someone in your workplace and yet had to smile at them? How many times have you muttered under your breath on seeing someone walk past and yet communicated with them cordially? And how many of such and other similar occasions have spoilt your work days and family nights?

When I mentioned one such character at my workplace to a group, I immediately received their enthusiastic attention with the least effort. I didn't have to say the problem; the word I used to nickname the person - arsehole - was magnetic enough to have all their ears glued to my each word. And all their tongues impatient to share their own experiences.

The first lesson I learnt was profanity created curiosity. Secondly, I learnt that the ass I knew was not a rare breed.

When you claim you are hard-working and sincere and ethically and morally right in executing your duties but still get marginalised, the fault lies with you as much as it is with those who marginalise you.

Yes. Because you let others do that to you.

Stand up and question their act. If you don't get a reply, repeat until you get one. Finally if you aren't given justice, seek a higher course of action. Even if that fails, is that the only place for you to work under the sun?

In honestly answering this question lies the solution to your problem. If you believe that is the only place for you to work, then you lack self-confidence to trust your capabilities; or you are too meek to step out from the comfort zone; or you are in a unique profession that has no parallels; or you have liabilities that chain you down.

If the answer is either of the former two, then it's high time you straighten up your spine. And if it's any of the latter two, even then only a stronger spine can do wonders.

I had an eye-opener when I complained to my editor of the workload vis a vis my increment, which was long due at the time of my speaking with the gentleman. Without mincing words, he said 'The reason why you get dumped with work is because you silently do them like a donkey'.

So what does that mean? Monkeys who cackle and jump about the place not only shirk away from their responsibilities but make the right leap to the right branch at the right time.

Disgusting! To say the least.

Donkeys end up with spondylitis and other loses being neck-deep in work that they do not see the manipulative forces in action. Monkeys engage in jumping seats and scratching others' back for support unaware majority turn their backs on them when in need.

It took me a while to collect myself. But when I did, I straightened my spine and analysed...I don't want to be a donkey or behave like a monkey.

I needed to find the right key.

Meanwhile, I visualised. Prayed and imagined the scenes I would love to live. And lo! it started manifesting.

My book was published. It was the KEY! The key to my self worth!

So what's your key to a happy life? Only you can identify that. It lies deep within you. To look for that you need to shift within not to the outside, where there will be hordes of neggators.

The clue to finding your key is to look for that one thing that gives you immense joy. One thing that you will keep aside everything and anything else to pursue.

Good luck.

Addictions are not just food, alcohol or porn

I was reading Geoff Thompson's 'Shape Shifter' over the weekend. The book speaks of what shifts we need to make within to achieve whatever we need.

As I sat, stood and laid down gorging his words [he is one man I can't resist], I felt in-shape already. Simply because he started off explaining the four main addictions that are injurious to our success.

Food, alcohol, porn and thoughts.

'We either over-eat or consume the wrong kind of food and drinks, watch energy-draining porn, and harbour unwanted and negative thoughts that stifle our creativity and growth.'

I agreed totally and felt proud because I did not have three of the four addictions he mentioned. That's a fantastic percentage!

I don't breeze away with wines and fizz out. I don't salivate seeing shapely backs or muscular arms. And as for food, so what if I have a sweet tooth, I indulge only once a week. So what if I love fries, I don't binge. So what if my all-time favourite is masala dosas, I don't grease them. Am a light eater!

Except for a wandering mind I have absolutely no addictions! I believed. I took a break and even thought of all my acquaintances - friends, colleagues and relatives - who would cringe and drop the book I was holding like a hot brick for its suggestions. I felt so good about myself that I realised I need to treat myself for being good already and lopped up a chocolate cone.

As for my thoughts, I trusted the book to help me. One chapter on yoga says - in all its myriad formats, yoga is only as good as you practise. However, if you want an external stimuli to propel you into disciplining the self, then there is no harm in attending classes, suggested the author.

So lo! I opted for practical lessons. My thoughts need some disciplining!

When asked to fill in the form as to why I'm opting for the session, I replied honestly: "Only to condition my mind. Physically am fit as a fiddle. And addictions, I have none."

The first day as we sat down on our knees for breathing exercises, my concentration was more on my ankles than on inhaling and exhaling, until I heard the master say, 'Those who are uncomfortable sitting in this posture may spread their legs out'. Ooohhff! I took in a gulp of air through both my mouth and nostrils.

The following day as the detox regime was being introduced and everyone in the room gave out a collective sigh, I smiled. Giving up non-vegetarian food, tobacco and fizzy drinks were no qualms. Consuming 40% raw food was no big deal either.

The next evening, participants asked for concessions and more time to get into the fold. And I smiled again.

The following morning, I took out the diet plan to begin my day and downed two glasses of water as instructed. A little later, I felt the urge. (Not what you think).  

I ignored and dressed up for work.

By 9am, the urge was unbearable. I drank another glass of water. Soon it got worse when I saw happy colleagues.

Not being irritated by anyone's action or words, listening to good music, staying happy were the other assignments for the day.

All of which went for a toss, because of my thrombing head. The nasty headache so very used to that hot cuppa in the morning was crying foul.

It is an addiction, I realised.