I love myself

Here I am testing my clarity on X-Mas eve...

It's two-and-a-half-hours past midnight. Do I call it the wee hours of December 27th or late 26th? I'm not gonna nuts seeking clarity about something that a good sleep can't fix.

That's what I did a good part of the year - which is fast chuckling its way about after having successfully left a few more grays on my scalp, than I would like. So, one last time this year, I ponder wide awake...

I state, 'I have NO regrets'. Categorically. I loved 2013. Yes. I loved this year as much as I loved 2012. Actually more... I guess...there I go again. Sigh?

Clarity, my friend says, is a Gemini peeve. I'd defend with all my might and call it a virtue of the twins. But... honestly, it sucks. Because, that's exactly why I can't say for sure if the previous year was better than this but am, nevertheless, damn certain of the coming year to be better - nope the best. This positivity, but indeed, is a Gemini virtue.

Or so I would love to believe, until the determined twin peeps up to remind me of her presence, pushing me behind her shadow.

Shady she! NOT me!Like all these past years, my progress stopped with this argument.

That's when I was hustled down and explained  "intent, desire and effort is needed to overcome the manipulative twin". I howled and screamed in desperation, then tired of the drama I mellowed down and pleaded until I was finally guided to meditate to calm the misleading creep.

This night as I prepare to bid farewell to 2013, I say, "So be it!" I am ME. On my way. Here I go...  success along. She can join me, if she so desires.

At 2.30am as I sign off for the year, I am clear that my new day has begun, as much as I am clear that my previous day has not ended either.

That's life. Every new beginning stems from the seed of the past. So now having admitted thus, I must confess, I have no pans of leaving my twin behind, because it is she who makes me ME.

I love her. I love myself. I'm blessed. Thank you to the Divine for who I am.

Wishing all of you a healthy, joyful & successful 2014!

 

   

Mom’s quandary: A question I don’t have an answer to

 

Birthday girl ready for school

Okay. So this is me. As in, me, myself, because I do not have answers to [read hate to address] some questions.

I celebrated 12 years of motherhood yesterday.

It was wonderful. I woke up, got into my slippers, switched on the heater, washed my face, brushed… did all the rest like anyone else’s all other days... then plonked on the sofa and my man gave me my undoable cup of hot tea. I gave him company before waking up our excited girl.

The dad handed over the gifts and I cheered. Unbelievable excitement followed and I ran to grab the camera to capture her wide eyes popping out wider as she unwrapped the first one. By the second one, I heard a voice in me ‘you idiot don’t lose the moment’, so I handed over the camera in reliable hands.

Being a special day, I didn’t have to pack breakfast. Gave the birthday girl some cash to enjoy with her friends. Used that time to scrub my feet and posed beside my beautiful girl, who by then had helped herself into her B’day gear.

Then set about to execute The Mom’s duty.

Drove her to school… as in sat along with her in the car… and again walked along rubbing her waist. At the steps, I did the honours of taking each item from the dad and stringing it up on her. First strapped the bag on her back, then adjusted her pull-over and set her hair. Then handed over the chocolate box, and finally, precariously placed the box of cake on her other forearm and kissed her a good day.

Meanwhile, my dear friend had volunteered to bake cakes to celebrate the birthday. I being me myself, I said, “yes, please. Drop in at your convenience and I’ll have the things ready.”

She was on the dot. And the oven was in the pack. Had to be installed. Did the only thing I do in times of emergencies. Dialled my man’s number. Assured it’ll be done, I asked her to get, set, start.

That’s when my friend asked for ingredients. So very kind of her, I happily agreed when she volunteered to buy the same for me.

My lil girl’s excitement knew no bounds and she already smelled cupcakes. She recited the list of  how many she’ll give her best friend the next day and how many she’ll save for the weekend party and how unbelievable it is and…I couldn’t ask her to shut up as it was her day!

“Get the moulds ready.”

“For what”, I asked busy clearing the dishes.   

“Oh mama!. Where are you lost”! sighed my girl.

“But…aa..moulds..”

“You didn’t buy Mo..o..u..lll..dds!!!! Wwhhoaat!!! And you set out to bake!!!! Mammmaa!

I had taken a day off from work, to make the day special for my girl!

PS: At night when she kissed me goodnight, I said, “We’ll do the baking next week darling. So your birthday celebration will last that much longer, too. Isn’t that exciting!”

“Yeeaah! How cool no!” She hopped off, with a zillion springs in her steps at that wee hour. At the door, she turned to ask, “But mama, why do you hate cooking so much?”

Rape also has a class of its own

Women’s empowerment is India’s new mantra. Or so the hoopla created by the media seems to convey. Nirbhaya set the trend as she succumbed to a brutal gang rape last year, and ever since politicians, activists, media and anyone who gets a microphone and a camera focused on them endorses their support to the uplift of the fairer lot.

But the safeguard of modesty seems to be limited to the Metros, or the capital at best. Women from the smaller towns are left to fend for themselves, while their counterparts only need to raise as much a finger to be give prime time slots to tell their tales. 

While officials were hunting down Tarun Tejpal, there was a brave teenager who was brutally attacked in Bihar only because she chose to stand up to her eve-teaser. The young athlete is hospitalized and is nursing her wounds in private, while we have national debate of the victim made the accused by the flamboyant celebrity editor. 

A youngster, a 21-year-old IT professional - was gang-raped by men who posed as taxi drivers in Vijayawada in Andhra Pradesh. How is she any different from the trainee journalist in Delhi? 

The gang-rape of the Dalit girl in Gujarat, fortunately, has been heard in the courts. The Gujarat high court upheld the life term awarded by the trial court in the case. But…what coverage did the case receive on national media? 

What’s happened to the 14-year-old who was allegedly killed by her rapist in Odisha? Buried! Sad! 

Yet another sensational case that has seen unprecedented uproar is that of the doctor couple – now sentenced to life in prison in the name of ‘honour killing’. 

Any idea of the number of such killings that take place in remote areas in India that have proof? But Talwars are in the right place at the right time to be in the wrong! 

Yes, it is not practical for every sick mind to be paraded down at prime time. But it is equally wrong to strip down a selected few from selected cities, especially when we have pressing issues to address than have suave men flaunt their attitude. 

Oh, yes, now that we have an election looming ahead… with so many contestants ready to abuse the trust of gullible voters, there’ll be no dearth of prime-time debates. 

Some reprieve to the ignored victims!