Embarrassing compliments

Okay, enough of brooding and sulking, I told myself yesterday, after more than a month in the dark hole attempting to get a grip of life skills.

I need to do everything convincingly, if not at least, symbolically. So I stood before the mirror and spoke to myself. After the self-pep talk, I immediately noticed the flaws in me, which is not because of a lack of self-motivation, rather because I am a WOMAN, wholesome at that! My nails felt like claws. I could grate carrot on my nose and the less said about my sole the better. 

BTW, I have this thing about my feet. My mom always says, "A woman’s feet speaks about her home. If a woman cannot keep her feet neat, how the hell can you expect her to keep her home clean?"

So, dinner could wait. Anyways, I need no reason in particular to keep away from the kitchen. The husband was happy as he saw me chirpy when he returned home and couldn’t care if he had to order food and our girl was the happiest that she could have her junk.

So I head to the parlour, dip my feet in warm water and hand over my head to another and my hands to a third. 

The girls got talking. The one handling my arms, exclaimed, "Maddaam you have nice arms. You can wear sleeveless without worry." It was a compliment that came my way in a long long while. I immediately felt buoyant like riding on a steep bridge at high speed, that I sat basking on which dress to choose to flaunt my freshly-massaged arms. 

I returned to their conversation mid-way when one of them asked me, “Where do you stay, maddaam?"

Giving the details, I queried, "Why do you ask?"  

The three girls resumed talking in their tongue, before one translated for me. "There is no Filipino supermarket near there maddaam."

"I don't shop in any of them, anyways,” I replied.

"No maddaam. You get Tawas stone. Your underarms dark no maddaam. The skin colour become fair..." I slid off the bridge in the same gear. "I get for you."

Later, I hit the gym. I was on a positive overstock. One of the trainers, who initially taught me how to walk right [http://bit.ly/1nR3PB6], came talking, while I was on the treadmill. Seeing him, I increased the speed, lest he assess my gait again. I was mentally preparing to ward off his suggestions, when I heard him say, “You have a well-maintained body..." Those words got me so light-headed that I lost him in between, “…like a sportsperson." 

“Really!” I asked.

“You doubt?” he countered.

Now, I was trying hard to check my cheeks, lest he catches me blushing. I was so thrilled that I jumped off the treadmill and climbed on the cross-trainer. Compliments can instantly increase your stamina, I realised. 

"Good, you've improved a lot," he said, following me and I peddled harder.

"Take two sessions; we can improve your core strength..."

"What?” so he was canvassing after all.

“But didn't you just say I have a sportspersons body!" I asked releasing my hand, in a show of expertise to quell any doubt he may harbour.

He laughed loud and clarified, "You didn’t hear me right. I said, you can have a well-maintained body, if you work with me, in fact, we can make it a sportsperson's…"

I stepped down, stretched like a cat and gulped half-a-bottle of water in one go as if that would wash away my embarrassment for the day.

Talking sexual ethics with children

This appeared in TFW on April 9... 

Graphic Courtesy: The Financial World

When my primary school child quoted the word 'stranger-danger' from her life skills lesson, I was intrigued as to what was explained in school.

Catch them young, we say, for all developmental matters. Then why camouflage sexual assaults under stranger-danger? Times have changed. Do not take chocolates from uncles, and do not smile at mamas are fine. Do not allow any one touch you inappropriately! This, this sentence, is what parents and teachers need to explain to youngsters. This explanation creates awareness.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month!

All modes of transportation - running buses, moving cars, speeding bikes - are being utilised to make women of all ages in all nooks across the country 'aware' that India's conscience might have been stirred when the Nirbhaya flame simmered but that of the beasts are yet to be nudged.

What an irony that thepace of brutality continues unabated even as laws are being revised andcreated. By ensuring stringent punishments, quicker trials and widening the umbrella of assaults under unpardonable crimes, politicians are doing their job. The media is also doing their part by reporting, analysing and debating the same.

So who isn't doing their part right? None. All are doing their best. It's the culture that needs to change. With details of rape, sex and attacks blaring our living rooms at prime time, we can't afford to say our culture doesn't allow discussion of the same with our growing-up children. And with technology threatening to invade every inch space of our lives with each passing day, children's curiosity cannot be contained either. Therefore, it is time we revisited the list of 'taboo topics' in family and educational institutions, if we really care to snub sexual attacks.

By informing women about their rights or threatening men about the consequences of sexually attacking females, one is definitely spreading awareness, but that is akin to focussing on pedicure, ignoring foot care.

General knowledge quizzes in schools should include such incidents. Especially with pre-teens, for whom teachers' words are the Bible, classrooms are the best platform to reveal the real world to impressionable minds. As for teenagers, again a neutral environment of a school is the best place to quell their curiosity on sexual topics and answer their doubts.

And this should be taken forward by parents. Gone are the days when birds rubbed their beaks and flowers brushed against one another to let couples make love on screen. Let's not change channels or look into space when that happens. Sit along with your children and watch. That would be the beginning of getting comfortable to discussing sexual ethics with youngsters.

You never know, this small step could lead to the much-needed cultural change for a better tomorrow.