Leave bedroom talks under the quilt...Couple's private talk stokes nation's ire

In today's Hitavada issue

I have always been curious to peep into a celebrity’s normal day at home. Do they do their dishes, cut veggies, clean the toilet, water plants, do laundry…like we normal mortals?

Long last, Aamir and Kiran opened their home to show me they have husband-wife conversations like in any common household...But my starving countrymen are all pouncing over one another to prove who’s best at interpreting what the star-couple’s private conversation means.

Aamir also said a few other lines apart from the ‘India-leaving’ sentence. ‘Kiran feels scared to open the newspapers everyday’… ‘I am alarmed by the number of incidents…’ Why isn’t anyone interested in those? He definitely didn’t say it for the 2-minute fame. However, the same cannot be said about all those reacting?


How many of those hollering their epiglottis out would sit munching popcorn with their feet up if their child doesn’t return home on time from campus?


How many moral polices will laze under the covers if they do not hear from their kids who stay afar from them?

It was a mother’s concern for her baby’s future that Kiren voiced to her husband. Yes, as a celebrity he should have censored that when on a public forum. Because public figures ought to speak responsibly, so as “not to stoke unrest”. But shouldn’t they speak their mind? Else, why speak.


Yes, as a celebrity he should have censored that when on a public forum


Again, always a personal story helps you connect with the audience quicker. It helps drive home the point easily. And bigger the personality, the quicker it gets soaked in.

Think of this… if a celebrity [read with all his clout to ensure protection] feels vulnerable about the incidents in the country, what about the common man? It’s not about a Khan, or Jain or Robert here. The least we as a nation could do is to exercise tolerance in our reaction. National prime time wasted on such comments, was the most disgraceful part of the issue. One channel host took a lesson citing the number of times in the past India has risen above troubles all by themselves unlike France…

Yes, we are one proud nation. We do not wait for another to help us get on our feet. We are able, capable and far better than any others on this planet. We’re the epitome of diversity and pluralism!!

And that’s exactly why we need to halt spewing our mirth and check why off late such talks are being heard frequently?

Earlier, Shah Rukh Khan came under fire for his remarks on intolerance and BJP leader Kailash Vijayvargiya called him 'anti-national’. There’s no dearth of elected representatives exposing their filthy minds off. If the nation can let them pass, why pounce on celebrities?

Little wonder Indian celebrities don’t take part in discussing serious national issues unlike in the West. We believe they are public property and it’s we who provide them our share of oxygen to help them earn their keep. Isn’t that why Aamir’s entire body of work of all these years was rubbished in a day?

We as a nation consider it our birth right to own our celebrities. So they better walk on our leash. Else this is what we do, tighten the noose. And then if the outside media talks of what we do on our turf, we rise up in arms lecturing them on secularism and diversity and democracy… and take them to ‘our’ Mahatma Gandhi and Buddha, too.

It’s extremely sad that the Constitutionally-granted Freedom of Speech is today tagged with an unwritten clause of the citizen’s station, his/her political allegiance and religious beliefs. Dr Ambedkar would be turning in his grave!

Hope Aamir has learnt his lesson… to leave bedroom talks under the quilt! 

WhatsApp suckers

The word ‘troll’ I assumed was only associated with fishing. As in fishing in the waters for those aquatic creatures, until I discovered nothing-worthwhile-to-do vertebrates who fish for celebrity slips in the virtual world are also called trolls.

Bollywood’s very own Alia Bhatt introduced me to the word through her infamous faux pas recently. Am I a late bloomer? Possibly. Am not too high on matters of tech. Now, I consciously have stopped forwarding Alia jokes that come my way. Enough of passive trolling!

Pls do not respond if you do not have anything to add of value 

My action is thus, also because I’ve had enough of another similar breed that’s usurped my mobile - WhatsApp pleasers! Someone please name them!

This is the number of messages that waited my attention in 12 hours

They are more prevalent in professional groups, than friendly or family groups. In common parlance on any given day you may want to call them arselickers.

I’m a member of at least five such groups. In my best moods, I find it hilarious. Their activity starts long before sunrise, replying to ‘Good Morning’ thought-of-the-day posters. From icons of varied sorts to folded hands, thumps-up of left thumb, right thumb, claps, victory sign… smileys and hands-up of one hand, two hands… So far so good. It doesn’t stop there, they key in – ‘Well said’. Good thought’….

And if anyone in the group were to share a hot news or an opinion piece [that doesn’t pertain to the group’s normal activity], then I mute my mobile. “Thanks for the info XX”; “XX thanks for sharing”; “XX very informative,”; “wow, wow, woo captivating XX”; “XX appreciate your thought about sharing” [what the !!!!  they think about his thought, too].

If the person forwarding is a senior, then every single member in the group will post their acknowledgement.

Now, this takes the cake. I read this the other day in one of my groups. “Will surely find time to read it XX, Tks. It’s fab”! Without reading the person knows it’s fab. MORON!

It doesn’t stop there. The original forwarder replies to this with hugs, tears, kisses, lols… And each time the mobile alerts you.

However, when a controversial news is posted on professional groups, reactions are guarded… “Oh”; “Um”. Yet they cannot hold from reacting.  

The least you could do is stop the round-robin 

This is one of the banes of social media. Of course, the worst being moral policing and virtual arraignment. But then, that’s serious stuff that the community and world media trolls on.

I’m more concerned about the trolling that creeps into my bedroom. I’ve missed many important calls and delayed replying to numerous messages because of these Whatsapp arselickers. I’m forced to RIP my device during peak hours.

Well, requesting 'pleasers' to stop their virtual activity will take a lot more effort. The least you could do is stop the round-robin. Old posts, which had collected its share of smileys and hugs and thanks, again being forwarded a few days later by someone from the same group and the same chain of reaction continuing all over again. PLEASE! somebody throw them in the ocean!

At least check before you forward. Have you read it before, have you forwarded the same? And for Pete’s sake do not respond if you do not have anything to add of value.

Can’t wait for Whattsapp to begin charging for the service, at least such suckers will think twice before reacting.

Meanwhile, someone please name them! 

BTW...adjectives overflow, too. Here's a classic one..."Xcelent msg XX, worth emulating, reproductive... 

Isn't this the hottest news ever...You may blame WhatsApp for surprise pregnancies! 

Don't tear your hair out yet.

Celebrities - big fish in a big pond!

This appeared in The Financial World today

Picture Courtesy: The Financial World

Would you like to be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond? A group of teenagers were asked in one of their life skills classes and the unanimous answer, rather a chorus, was ‘A big fish in a big pond’.

Add another 20 years and ask 40-somethings the same question. They would want to be a big fish in a small pond. Add another 20 years and you’ll have 60-somethings who couldn’t be bothered being a small fish in a big pond. You can bet your last penny on this. The definition of success shifts along with one’s receding hairline or a widening waist line.

I posed the same query to my daughter and sought her idea on what ‘a big fish in a big pond’ meant to her. After a long brain-racking session, she concluded, “Like being a celebrity.”

If youngsters consider being a celebrity as a symbol of success, then we really have some fodder to regurgitate. Two, are all celebrities successful?

You become a celebrity when you are famous and easily recognized in public. You are successful when you achieve your aim or purpose. Politicians, philanthropists, social workers, artists, sports personalities are all celebrities by the above definition. And their success can also be measured by their respective activities and performances. So can we call them successful celebrities? Perhaps.

But moving on to showbiz, the artists have their success defined by others. Unlike other public figures, their success depends on the number of eyeballs between the public and their figures. Crass, but the truth, nonetheless. So what’s the yardstick for their success.

Consider the just-wound up Cannes episode. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan was analysed to shreds. The lady stunned the breath out of the so-called fashion police, yet they took her by her hair, neck and waist. Some even by that peep of her flab from beneath her underarms! But then, Ash is much more than just a celebrity. She is angelic, jaw-dropping, spittle dribbling bewitching. My journo friends tell me, “I dislike her…but man! she’s so divine looking. She oozes glamour, my my!” Can you term that ‘my’ her success?

Now, consider Vidya Balan. She’s not a celebrity as Ash despite her body of work speaking louder than Ms World’s. So isn’t she successful? There was another ‘little known’ celebrity Nandita Das at the Cannes who got a fleeting mention. Or did she even? Talent personified, but not big a fish as the other two, only because she falls far behind in the socially-accepted beauty quotient. She plays in her own league. Does that make her less successful?

So can we take the terms celebrity and success in the same breath? Perhaps not. But then, why not? Success is what YOU make of it!

And, please scrap the pond and fish. There are oceans and sharks.