Newage revolution wakes up Big Uncle Masa

[Resemblance to any institution, administration or person dead or alive is not a coincidence]

Big Uncle Masa stretched in his slumber. Opened one eye and disgustingly looked at the can of worms he had efficiently hidden before him.

The creatures were tapping at the lid from within. He dismissed the scene and turned to snore.

"How can such measly creatures garner courage to wake me up from my years of slumber. 65+ years! no one dared to come close to me. I will decide when I to wake up!"

A little alter, he felt a tickling sensation. Rubbed his fingertips under his armpit and turned over.

But the sensation only increased. He opened both his swollen eyelids and saw the creatures crawling out of the box. Two quick ones had managed to climb under his arms.

He called his cronies to tackle the worms before they set foot in his bed.

The cronies misunderstood their combined strength. In no time, they were buried under the swarth of worms.

Big UncleMasa sat up and scorned.

"This is called revolution Masaji," choroused his trampled cronies.

"Please wave at them from this corrupted balcony. Only then can we be saved," they cried.

"Ookaayy"! He strolled and said, "All will be well."

The two under his armpit clung on deeply and threatened, "we'll wait here until you let it be well."

But since then, Big Uncle Masa never slept in peace. Each time he hit the bed, they tickled him strong. While his heavy forearm would not fold to pluck the creatures off, his ego and modesty would not allow him to expose his sweaty and itchy pit to his cronies to take action.

Helplessly as he set about looking into the welfare of the worms, and all seemed to be going on toward being well, did the can open again.

This time it exploded with a thud. The worms crawled faster, quicker and with more vigour.

Big Uncle Masa walked to the balcony to wave his assurance, when his cronies cried, "No, Masaji. You need to go to the feminine balcony at the other end.'

"Don't wave please. Just cry 'shame, shame, rapists'!"

"What cheek. Now I dance to your tunes!"

"You've no choice Masaji," they choroused.

"I am the one taking decisions..."

"That is correct, Masaji. But this is not corruption issue. This is rape. It happened inside the can."

"So how the hell am I responsible. If they cannot behave themselves."

"Cool Masaji. They are our subjects. You placed the lid over the can because you wanted to sleep undisturbed. So you are res..., we mean to say, you are a respectful person. Show them how concerned we are about their wellbeing."

"Ookaayy. Ookaayy. Keep my ear plugs and eye pads ready."

"We are afraid, Masaji. These newage revolutions pierce through our ear plugs and eye pads. Our lab has begun experimenting new models of plugs and pads. We will keep you updated."

Chetan Bhagat’s dream for us

All of us have dreams. But how many of us have dreams for our country? India’s Bollywood [script]writer has one. I’ve read all of Chetan Bhagat’s books, simply because I’m in awe at his courage to throw away a lucrative job to follow his heart. Period.

Now I salute him. He’s taken yet another risk of stepping out of his forte – fiction. Has he landed on his feet?

Well, he’s testing the waters himself. His cautiousness is glaringly evident throughout the book. He misses no opportunity to say that he is no expert of what he is speaking and that the ideas and solutions are merely his opinion. “The essays are by no means perfect; they can at times be too simple or idealistic,” he clarifies.

So somewhere within, does he feel the literary world has not accepted him? I remember watching a chat show on one of the channels where he was snubbed by the veteran Tavleen Singh. She said something on these lines… I’ve not read your books. If I remember right, he didn’t reply. I wondered, then, why he was making a mockery of himself in public.

Not anymore.

Chetan Baghat took to writing because, he says, he has a dream for India. Sounds pompous, isn’t it? He didn’t want to be a typical “armchair NRI advisor”, he adds. Now that’s some confidence. He goes on to say that he has so much love from his readers “that other writers cannot even imagine it”. Would you call this arrogance? Well, then here’s the rest…”However, I don’t get literary praise. It’s okay…” he adds. A man with his head on his shoulders; A person who knows where he stands? Definitely!

Similarly, he’s clear about why India is in the ‘mess’ that it is. His essays on politics, society and youth clearly reflect the reasons. He believes only the youth in India can change the country if they change their mindset and elect the right people to lead the nation. Therefore, all his solutions to the various issues plaguing the country involve youth - who want love and money.

He urges the current generation to leave a country that the youth of today will be proud of. “The next generation may say this was a time of turmoil, but let them not say that we sat doing nothing.”

Corruption, education, secularism are his pet topics. To begin with, Indian education system should be revamped. It is “turning out servile, course material slaves,” he believes.

Also that India lacks community values unlike the US. He urges all to do away with caste-based politics and voting, which is the prime cause for all ills in India unlike the US. Send the right people to Parliament, he pleads.

Comparison to America at regular intervals is discomforting. Why emulate only the US? I guess, when a considerable proportion of desis still hold an American trip as the ultimate status symbol, he can be pardoned.

His desperation makes him mince no words as he bravely takes on the rich and famous. He rips apart Kingfisher, the BCCI and the real estate mafia, giving some stark calculations [the investment banker raises its head] and offering valid solutions to help the country prosper and for youth to retain faith in their homeland.

He even nudges human emotions by discussing terror attacks. But a few of his solutions to social ills are trivialized. If Bollywood movies could change over the last three decades, our mindset about serious issues can also change, he opines. I can’t digest this one.

Similarly, his take on Lerds [liberal arts students] versus nerds, and an open letter to Sonia Gandhi does not sit well with the theme of the book. And the two short stories included are way too childish, to say the least.

But that is absolutely forgivable – this is his first non-fiction work.

“What Young India Wants” is an honest book! The mention of his own suicide attempt is ample proof of his intentions. “Don’t fix history, please look at the future,” says it!

So what’s the writer’s ‘Great Indian Dream’? That every citizen should work hard, prosper and succeed through innovation and hard work and once successful, every citizen should give back to the society that made him or her what he or she is.

Let’s stop being typical Indians. Stop being cynical! Read the issues the book raises and his suggestions. You may agree or disagree with him, but as he says, have your own opinion.

Isn’t that the beginning of any change?

Hats off! Chetan Baghat!

[Picture Courtesy: Book cover - www.flipkart.com; Profile: www.chetanbhagat.com]