Saturday, November 24, 2012

Walk the talk

Here's another episode from Adi's diary about her husband...
Aditi hates exercising, while her husband is a health freak. One day Agneya Reddy asked her to join him for a leisurely walk. She eagerly did. No sooner they reached the nearby park than he started jogging and forced her to follow suit.

She protested, cribbed, and took at least 10 breaks and at last squatted down.
The rest is in her own words...

The following morning, after he left for work as I sat browsing the net and sipping coffee, I heard the door bell ring.

Two deliverymen with a huge parcel were requesting permission to walk in. “Sir asked to install it in the TV room.”
I called up Agy. His secretary Sharon answered the call. “Mr Agneya Reddy’s phone.”

“Can I speak to him, please.”
“He’s in a meeting. May I take a message.”

“Can you ask him to call me back. It’s urgent. Aditi here.”
 “O! Hello ma’am. He’s gone for a briefing session, so he left his mobile with me. Hang on a sec, I’ll get him online.”

Within a minute, Agy was online “Yes, Adi.”
“Some guys are here with a …”

“Yeah, that’s for you, my love.” And then I heard him say, “ Informed? Ok. I’m just there.”

“Ah Adi, let them install it in the TV room. I'll call you in 30 minutes. Love you.”
The deliveryman, I discovered was given detailed instructions. He knew where exactly to install it and what to be moved. He rearranged the entire room so that the treadmill was facing the home theater system.

Half-an-hour later, Agy called. “Treadmill installed?”
“They are at it.”

“Good. Now my girl will exercise every day.”
“Did I ask you for this.”

“You will never. And getting you to jog outside is a herculean task. So I came up with the best solution.”
“Very smart.”

“Thank you. I know you are not happy. And it’s absolutely fine by me. Beginning today, my smart girl will exercise for an hour. You will have no excuse because you can do it at your convenience, watching your favourite programmes.”

“And if I don’t.” I was pissed off by his persistence.
“No dinner.”

“And it’s absolutely fine by me.” I mocked attempting to get his tone.
His laugh, even over the phone can do wonders on me. “Well, my dear, it’s important you exercise. And the least you can do is walk an hour.”

“I’ll do after you come.”
“No. I’m having the spare guest room upstairs transformed into an in-house gym. We’ll replace the balcony wall with glass and that’ll give it a fantastic look, too. So once that’s ready, we can work out together. Until then you will walk an hour every day alone.” He said the last sentence slowly and deliberately.

“What do you want.” I snapped and I heard him chuckle again.

“Be ready by 7pm. We’ll go out for dinner.”

“Love you. Please smile.”
“No. Bye.”

I was irritated by his audacity. What the heck, whatever he thinks has to be done. No way. At least today, he’s not having his way.
I decided to prepare an elaborate dinner.

By 6pm vegetarian spring rolls; hot and sour soup; sesame chicken strips with sweet & sour dip; mixed fried rice and noodles were ready. As I was setting the table, in walked a beaming Agy.

“Not ready? Let's go.”
“I’ve cooked an elaborate spread. Freshen up and come fast.”

“As you say.”
A little later, he was standing examining the table. “Wow! this is, indeed, elaborate Adi. I can’t wait. Where do I start?”

“Soup first. Oops, I’ll fetch the sauces,” I said and went into the kitchen as he picked up the soup bowls. But when I returned he was not there.
“Where are you?”

“Gimme me a minute, dear.” He shouted from the bedroom.
“Adi, come with me,” he said taking me by the wrist after a while.

“Where? The soup will cold, Agy.”
“That can be reheated.”

Shit! He was leading me to the TV room.
“First walk for an hour and then dinner.” He said leaving me beside the treadmill and lowering himself into the sofa. “I’ll keep you company.”

“I walked.”
“You did not.” He said with a don’t-fool-me smirk and shaking his head.

“I did,” I gave him a stern look.
“Well,” he crossed his legs over and folded his hands, and continued, “if you don’t walk, we both are going without dinner tonight. And I don’t want to do that because I’m eager to taste my Adi’s dishes. I’m famished.”

“Let me play some music for you. What would you like to hear.”
“I have no likes. It’s always your likes and wants, right. Play whatever,” I snapped with a sullen face.

He got up with a what-will-I-do-with-you smile, lifted me onto the treadmill, timed it for 60minutes and kissed me. “Yep, here you go,” and pressed the start button. He returned to the sofa and sat watching me.
An hour later, dabbed in perspiration, I slumped on the sofa. He sat up to wipe my face and I shrugged him off.

I ate in silence, while he was his chirpy best.
Back in the bedroom, the anger in me crept up, seeing him lying on the bed reading a book. “How did you know about my walking.”

“I know it all,” he said flashing his naughty smile.
It should be her. I walked out quietly and knocked at our maid's door. The moment she opened the door, I snapped, “From when did you start reporting my matters to Agy.” She gave me a perplexed look. “I don’t like this.” I spat and returned to the bedroom.

“Feeling better after taking it out on that poor woman," he asked as I climbed over.
How does he know it always! "I'd gone to take my lens," I muttered.

I saw him smirk and pick up his mobile. He dialled a number and put it on speaker between us. I heard Savitri’s voice on the second ring. “Yes, Sir.”
“Savitri, Adi is feeling bad about her behaviour just now. She wants to apologise…”

“…No sir, no, no. No problem. She’s a small girl, sir. No problem.”
“Thanks Savitri. Good night.”

I was fuming. “What the heck? I’m a small girl, eh. Small girl!”
“Well, you behave like one.” He said calm and composed.

“My foot I’ll apologise. You ask her to spy on me, so cheap.”
Clearly amused by my outburst, “You are such a kid, Adi. How closely have you observed this home, umm”.

He sat back looking at me, enjoying himself, as I was fuming with a mixed bag of emotions.
“Our home is webbed.” With that same soft look, he continued, “Each room has a camera…”

I was all alert. How did I not notice it all this while!

“…Before you came, I hardly spent time in here. So for security reasons, I had them installed.”
He paused. Then with a cheeky smile, added, “It came in handy only today, though...”


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