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Sunday, July 26, 2015

WhatsApp suckers

The word ‘troll’ I assumed was only associated with fishing. As in fishing in the waters for those aquatic creatures, until I discovered nothing-worthwhile-to-do vertebrates who fish for celebrity slips in the virtual world are also called trolls.

Bollywood’s very own Alia Bhatt introduced me to the word through her infamous faux pas recently. Am I a late bloomer? Possibly. Am not too high on matters of tech. Now, I consciously have stopped forwarding Alia jokes that come my way. Enough of passive trolling!

Pls do not respond if you do not have anything to add of value 

My action is thus, also because I’ve had enough of another similar breed that’s usurped my mobile - WhatsApp pleasers! Someone please name them!

This is the number of messages that waited my attention in 12 hours
They are more prevalent in professional groups, than friendly or family groups. In common parlance on any given day you may want to call them arselickers.

I’m a member of at least five such groups. In my best moods, I find it hilarious. Their activity starts long before sunrise, replying to ‘Good Morning’ thought-of-the-day posters. From icons of varied sorts to folded hands, thumps-up of left thumb, right thumb, claps, victory sign… smileys and hands-up of one hand, two hands… So far so good. It doesn’t stop there, they key in – ‘Well said’. Good thought’….

And if anyone in the group were to share a hot news or an opinion piece [that doesn’t pertain to the group’s normal activity], then I mute my mobile. “Thanks for the info XX”; “XX thanks for sharing”; “XX very informative,”; “wow, wow, woo captivating XX”; “XX appreciate your thought about sharing” [what the !!!!  they think about his thought, too].

If the person forwarding is a senior, then every single member in the group will post their acknowledgement.

Now, this takes the cake. I read this the other day in one of my groups. “Will surely find time to read it XX, Tks. It’s fab”! Without reading the person knows it’s fab. MORON!

It doesn’t stop there. The original forwarder replies to this with hugs, tears, kisses, lols… And each time the mobile alerts you.

However, when a controversial news is posted on professional groups, reactions are guarded… “Oh”; “Um”. Yet they cannot hold from reacting.  

The least you could do is stop the round-robin 

This is one of the banes of social media. Of course, the worst being moral policing and virtual arraignment. But then, that’s serious stuff that the community and world media trolls on.

I’m more concerned about the trolling that creeps into my bedroom. I’ve missed many important calls and delayed replying to numerous messages because of these Whatsapp arselickers. I’m forced to RIP my device during peak hours.

Well, requesting 'pleasers' to stop their virtual activity will take a lot more effort. The least you could do is stop the round-robin. Old posts, which had collected its share of smileys and hugs and thanks, again being forwarded a few days later by someone from the same group and the same chain of reaction continuing all over again. PLEASE! somebody throw them in the ocean!

At least check before you forward. Have you read it before, have you forwarded the same? And for Pete’s sake do not respond if you do not have anything to add of value.

Can’t wait for Whattsapp to begin charging for the service, at least such suckers will think twice before reacting.

Meanwhile, someone please name them! 

BTW...adjectives overflow, too. Here's a classic one..."Xcelent msg XX, worth emulating, reproductive... 

Isn't this the hottest news ever...You may blame WhatsApp for surprise pregnancies! 

Don't tear your hair out yet.

23 comments:

  1. Oh yes! I agree. I used to be part of a couple of professional groups on Whatsapp and just the amount of spam that creeped in, was enough to make my eyes water. Nowadays, I've just hidden the notifications. If it's important enough, they know where to reach me

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Sid for the tip. Hiding notification will sure help.

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    2. Thanks Sid for the tip. Hiding notification will sure help.

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  2. Hahahahahhahahhaha.. This post is so damn true!
    Specially those messages which say that your phone battery will get refilled to 100% if you send the same message on 15 WhatsApp groups! Ugh! :D

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    Replies
    1. You will hear a good news in one hour...forward now. Eeks!!

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    2. You will hear a good news in one hour...forward now. Eeks!!

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  3. Ohh the worst part about Whatsapp groups is that people can add you to those without consent...You have no idea how many groups I want to leave but can't do so out of courtsey! All are mute and I only look into them once in a while...

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    Replies
    1. Yea Nabadita...courtesy , it is. That I tolerate them.

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    2. Yea Nabadita...courtesy , it is. That I tolerate them.

      Delete
  4. I hear you :)
    Mute seems to be the word of the day, add another to the list- clear chat.
    It is frustrating to listen to the phone beeping all day and finding forwards and emoticons on it. A few entrepreneurs have started sending pictures of the products they sell, 50 at a time...drives me crazy :))

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    Replies
    1. I can understand your frustration Sulekha. Thank Lord, entrepreneurs haven't yet sought me. :)

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    2. I can so understand you, Nisha! I installed Whatsapp a few months back. And instantly regretted doing so. I too have now set most of the groups on mute and just delete, or clear the chats every now and then. I am surprised to see professionals spending their entire days chatting on WA! I mean, don't you people have anything better to do?!! Thank god for the mute button there, I say. The constant beeping had gotten on my nerves!

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  5. Tell me Shilpa! Im done with the lot!

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  6. Admins of every whatsapp group should be shot to death!

    I'm so sick and tired of the silly trolls, jokes and innuendos that come across this app everyday. And the videos that some people send is such a waste of time and space on the phone.

    Just like Sid, I have muted all the groups that I'm a part of. I only respond when people call me. Whatsapp is turning out to be a much bigger pain when compared to Facebook.

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  7. Ha ha Soumya...I couldn't agree more!

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  8. All the WhatsApp groups that I am a part of are muted. I go there once in a while. Those notifications can be maddening.

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  9. Ha ha! that was funny and so true. But thank God I don't get 300+ msgs in 12 hours. I keep deleting and clearing chat history. I rarely respond to the group msgs. I hate those morning and night ones plus the one with bhagwan's photo! :|

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    Replies
    1. Yea dhagwan pics n forwarding creeps

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    2. Yea dhagwan pics n forwarding creeps

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  10. That was fun to read. I hardly pay attention to the group messages, barely read the forwarded ones, and never ever download the videos and the picture messages with God's photo.. don't ask..
    There used to be a group earlier, that used to collate like 400 messages in like 2 hours!!! I'm so glad, I'm not part of that group anymore!

    Cheers

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  11. Thankfully the group that I am part are absolutely boisterous and even if there are 1000 messages, it's fun reading them {what are train journeys for :P } Now I am wondering why am I not a part of any bhagwanji walla group ... hmmm should I do a self analysis :P

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