“You look hot!”; “You are beautiful!”; “You became dark like a charcoal!” ;“You look tired!”; “You are such an inspiration!”; “You are too emotional!” “You should smile more often!” “You are timid!”…
These are the varied comments I received, in no particular order, all in a span of less than 48 hours.
And to note that people spat these exclamations on my face, looking in my eyes, following my last blog where I announced not to be a people pleaser anymore, makes me doubt of some boogie-woo conspiracy.
Okay, so I was down with a nasty virus for a week, but none of those who commented on my demeanour bothered to take note because I never sulked and sneezed when I interacted. How much do people know or even care to know before they label you. You are taken at face value! A face they choose to ‘see’.
A few months ago, I would have been paranoid thinking of each of the above statement. Now such words do not flicker a single pore on me. It wasn’t easy getting my nerves to behave. I learnt it the hard way. I was on a roller-coaster of a soul-searching ride for the last eight months, checking out and ticking off people whom I allowed in my space and thoughts – family, friends and colleagues.
I forgave each one and blessed them in turn. [It’s not easy. But it’s so liberating once you force yourself into doing it, though. So make it a habit]
And I’ve chucked most of them out of my system. No matter who they are. Relatives who never acknowledge me; those in sly competition with me; friends who think of me only when I stand before them; those who never appreciate my time and love; colleagues who are manipulative…
A few who demand protocol attention, will receive my plastic smile from a distance.
They are free to call me arrogant, cock-headed or any damn adjective in their chosen vocabulary, but I REFUSE TO BETRAY MYSELF!
Yes, the more you tolerate uncomfortable people and situation in your life, the more you betray yourself!
I am too precious for myself. I am all I have!
You may want to read:
To the wonderful people who make my life
You may want to read:
To the wonderful people who make my life
Agree .... I don't think we should waste our energy thinking about such people...
ReplyDeleteA brilliant post Nisha: love it! And so important too! Good for you for the major progress you have made not to be a people pleaser. That is a tough nut to crack but you did it: way to go! :) I think it's admirable, commendable actually that you do not betray your own soul - reminds me of a poem - and yet, I have a question re. this: what if I tolerate uncomfortable people - myself! - I do feel rather uncomfortable in my own skin right now/lately. ;) Am I thus betraying my own soul? ;) <3 (OH, and by the way, that is a lovely photo of you: you are indeed precious! I can tell by your smile. :) <3)
ReplyDeleteThank you Naba and Elly.
ReplyDelete@Elly you are right. We betray our soul when we put up with uncomfortable people and situations.The fact that we feel uneasy is a sign that we are doing something that is not internally acceptable.
Nisha love this attitude! You are you, and those who don't see that, or want to change you in any way or don't acknowledge 'you' well its best ignoring them!
ReplyDeleteThat is the right approach to a happy life.
ReplyDeletegood going. Stick to it.
Very Powerful Nisha
ReplyDeleteVery well said, Nisha. To portray that perfect image of oneself at every turn can be so exacting. Glad you chose not to do so. You are beautiful (from within/without) just as you are. Always stay in that belief.
ReplyDeleteThank You Aditi, Inderpreet, Zaahirah and Shailaja!
ReplyDelete